As a result of a nasty telephone call, a threat of
restraining orders and two poorly ordered coffees, Thomas was interviewed for Joomag’s
“Meals of Food” magazine, a critically awarded culinary magazine with
particular emphasis on critical. Originally published late last year, the
edition was retracted shortly afterwards on legal grounds that Joomag described
as “morally questionable” and “outrageously expensive.”
When we sought clarification, Joomag refused to comment,
admitting they were as confused as anyone else, as they’d “done their best with
the article” and “couldn’t help it if Thomas was a complete wanker”. Their
response is all the more remarkable, considering their refusal to comment has
resulted in comment.
In the hope of further clarification, we contacted Thomas,
the man (sig) at the centre of both the article in question, and the legal
action to have it removed.
“I had agreed to be interviewed,” Thomas says, outside a
cafe that refused to admit him because he’s such a complete wanker, “but the
resultant article was so badly written that it rivals some of the better
written passages of my books.”
When we asked for further clarification, he says, “Look,
Meals of Food promised not to make me appear like a complete wanker, but ended
up making me look like a complete wanker. If anyone’s a complete wanker, it’s
Joomag for making me look like a complete wanker.”
When we asked for clarification, he says, “I admit that the
release of my Dooven Books was not good for anybody, but neither is Joomag’s
article about me. They promised the article would improve my standing in the
public eye by portraying me as less of a complete wanker than my books did.
This was the reason I agreed, because, as I said, I’m not a complete wanker.
The media’s had a great time portraying me as a complete wanker and I thought
that having Joomag write an article about me, particularly when they promised not
to make me appear to be a complete wanker, would help lessen the image of me
being a complete wanker.”
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