The Comfort Of Rejection

During the early days of the Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels, Thomas tried getting help on a number of levels, not least with his writing. He attended a local writers’ group recommended by another local writers’ group which had become determined to expel him from their group of local writers after his critique of members’ writing resulted in the group no longer being large enough to be defined by the word.

A Common Misconception

Git and prat are not the same thing. They’re spelt differently for a start. They do not, as many assume, mean idiot. Git refers to the joint on a type of sixteenth century ploughing harness which is prone to breaking once the leather wears, whereas prat has its origins in a mindless squabble of words that has each in­volved none the wiser.

A presentation given to introduce the Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels, an innovative new fiction series. There were some buns on a trolley outside.

Corfield claims New Fable Genre

In an attempt to sell a new genre of fiction at a presentation, Thomas got into a bit of a fight with someone who thought he shouldn't be doing anything of the sort. And although Thomas repeatedly punched him in the face, it was only because everyone else had a go first.

On A Bus

Most people use buses as a means to get from one place to another. Bus stops, primarily. Thomas, however, use them for a different reason: meeting women. He sits on them by himself (buses, not women), partly because no one likes him, and partly because he gets on the things early in their journey in order to observe subsequent passengers.

About the Musicians

Jonathon Michael Crapper (aka MC Tasty) and Jefferson St. Jives (aka DJ Pooh) were the musicians behind the once infamous pop group 'Jesus Christ My Penis'. Although they failed to chart musically, they did become the most heavily trolled band on the internet. So much uproar did their name arouse, that unlike pop groups swamped in fan-mail, Jesus Christ My Penis became swamped in troll-mail.

Official Book Burnings

Although Thomas’ mother didn’t give him a name until he was nine, it doesn’t mean she didn’t care about him. It could mean she was inherently lazy, or couldn’t fill out the blank spaces on his birth certificate. To say she was lazy, however, would be unfair, as she clearly gave birth to him, which suggests some effort on her part—unless Thomas just plopped out, which, assuming he was picked up off the floor afterwards, still implies effort.